Memories
by Melted Flames
Summary: Sakura goes over recent events with a surprising input from Karin. WARNING: SPOILERS FOR 483


_**Memories**_

**WARNING: SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 483!!**

Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own Naruto. If I did, I would _not_ have let chapter 483 happen.

_He tried to kill me…_

Those five words make the only coherent thought in my mind as I race back to Konoha, Sasuke-kun's dying companion in my arms. My heart races as my stomach heaves with the thought of betrayal. _I trusted him_. It was idiotic, but I did, I truly trusted him. As I stop to let my stomach relieve itself of its contents onto the perfect forest floor, I laugh. It's not a twisted laugh like the one Sasuke-kun gave when Kakashi-sensei showed up. No, it's more of a pathetic laugh, the sort that I've heard from patients who were in shock.

What a fool I'd been. To actually believe him? To think that I'd be able to kill him? How idiotic, how childish. My infatuation has no power over him, how could I ever think that it could? Infatuation… it's the only word that I can use to describe my feelings for Sasuke-kun now. I don't love him, I _can't_ love him; you can't love someone that doesn't exist.

I pick myself off of my shaky knees and pick up the girl. She's dying and it's _his_ fault. Hastily, I pump some chakra into her wounds to prolong what's left of her life until we reach the hospital.

My muscles may be balancing me on the branches to which I leap, but I feel dead. I feel as if my body is an empty bag of bones, muscle, chakra, and skin; a bag that threatens to tears and be useless at any moment.

The girl coughs and I realize that she's still conscious. How can one person endure such pain? The idea of chidori ripping through my body makes me trip and nearly drop us sixty feet.

It's unfortunate that he didn't get her heart; it would have been better, cleaner, faster, painless. But no, always the sadist, Sasuke-kun missed by centimeters, sending the crackling chakra to her lungs and ribs, charring her flesh and causing indescribable levels of agony.

Upon reaching the hospital (I have no idea how long it took; days, months, hours, even years could have passed without my notice.) I dutifully fill out a patient report, alert the desk of her presence – I'll be damned if I'm going to Tsunade-shishou – and promptly pass out.

-

"Sakura-chan!" A nurse's voice wakes me from my well-deserved slumber. "What happened?" What _did_ happen? I managed to trick Sai, Kiba, and Lee and then… oh. _That_ happened. My ignorance, my arrogance, my immature dreams, the moment that I should have foreseen.

The nurse must sense my self-hatred because she leaves with a curt nod, shutting the door firmly behind her. It is then, when I'm alone with only my memories, that I begin to think.

Sasuke-kun tried to kill me! To kill me… I obviously haven't registered it completely, because I still can't drop the suffix from his name. I thought that I could save him… why? What could have possibly convinced me that I, Haruno Sakura, could make a difference in his world? The answer is clear: my foolishness, the fact that I'm a fool who's living in the past, a girl who should be dead, a girl who wants to be dead, a girl who can't do anything right.

The negativity must be getting to me, because I can feel tears pricking my eyes. Crying… yet another sign of my weakness. Sasuke-kun was right, I _am_ annoying. The memories flood back as I sob, each breath making my body shake more and more with the wretched tears that threaten to drown me. _I loved him_… I still do, too. I can't comprehend _why_ I love him, but I know that I do. Despite all of this, I still love him. I would still go to him if he came back, and I still want to kill him to free him of the mental prison he has built around himself. My heart is in pieces, it's been shattered and smashed until all that is left is a raw pulp. Is it still trying to beat? Why won't it leave him alone?

The salty tears cascade down my face until my eyes run dry, leaving me to sob dryly. The pain is too much, it's worse than when he left me on that bench, it's worse than when I was stabbed by Sasori…. It's horrible. It takes all of my to prevent a scream of agony from escaping me – I don't want someone to come into the room. Instead, I clench my hands, not caring that my nails are breaking the surface of my skin… it's nothing compared to what I'm feeling inside of me. This pain, this agony is unbearable. I wish that Sasuke-kun _did_ kill me… at least I would have stopped failing at everything I tried to do that involved him. I wish that he –

"He loved you." Who the _**fuck**_ is interrupting me with something that I already know? Who did I not notice in the room?

I turn my head to see Sasuke-kun's former companion.

"How do you know Naruto?"

"I don't,' she replies "I'm talking about Sasuke."

I snort in disbelief. "Clearly a different Sasuke-kun than I know."

"Obviously I'm not talking about the current Sasuke, I'm talking about the Sasuke that _you_ loved. Until Orochimaru, he loved you." She's lying. I don't know why, but she is. It's cold, but I can almost see her motive.

"Listen, I can take the truth. Sasuke-kun always thought of me as a mere annoyance, I understand that, it doesn't bother me." My voice is too fast and the words seem scrambled and slurred.

"Do you know what my job was in Oto?" I open my mouth to respond, but she doesn't wait for me to answer. "It was to clear Sasuke's mind of bonds. He could know names, faces, and basic events, but there were to be no emotions, no ties. No fondness, no anger, just blank slates," she says with her gaze fixated on a random spot on the floor.

"Why would you do that? How could you do that to someone that you loved?"

"I had to. At the time, I thought that he was just a pretty face, a new toy for Orochimaru. I had no idea what he was capable of." Part of me wants to strangle this girl, to beat her bloody, to do anything to make her pay for what she did. Somehow, my mind responds logically: _It won't change the past._

I focus on keeping my eyes dry as she continues "what he felt for you, for Naruto, even for Kakashi, it was all alien to Sound: the admiration towards Kakashi, the extreme rivalry with Naruto, the strange mixture towards you. _You_ were almost has hard to erase as Naruto. Not quite, but almost. Trying to stop him almost worked, you know. He even considered bringing you with him." I don't believe her. She's full of lies, of wicked falsehoods that tear me apart and make me feel like I've been crushed by thousands of pounds of rubble.

"The memories of the two of you even came back… remember when you tried to bring him back? When you went to Otogakure and tried to convince him to return with you?" Of course I remember, I could never forget. Why does she think that I've forgotten Sasuke-kun so easily? "He remembered it, all of it. Obviously I had to work harder than ever to clear his mind afterwards."

My instinct is to leap out of my hospital bed and attack her. To blame her for Sasuke-kun's transformation into the horrid monster he has become. Yet, somehow, I stay still, I torture myself by hearing more of her lies.

"You have no idea how sorry I am," she says with a stronger voice than before. "There aren't words to describe the intensity of my guilt, truly."

"If you really knew these things, if you really understood him, I have one question for you," I say accusationally.

"Ask," she responds.

"What did he mean? Why _'Thank you'_?

"That is something that I have no answer for." With those words, she walked to the door and closed it hastily behind her, leaving me to my memories, her words, and an infinite supply of tears.


End file.
